It’s been a while since I’ve wrote one of these. A lot of updates have happened, including but not limited to me recovering from a less-than-savory case of COVID and finding new employment, so I felt the need to keep things on the short side.
Let me just say that moving from one’s childhood home is no easy task. It’s something that needs to be done nonetheless, but it takes a lot of courage and mental readjustment.
And it’s not the first time that I’ve had feelings of the sort; after years of feeling shut-in back in my previous house (partially no thanks to both a move that ended up temporary and the COVID lockdowns), I found myself quickly having to learn how to find my footing — both with my career and in my personal enjoyment time — in a post-graduation reality. There are many times where I’ve had genuine panic attacks (including my body succumbing to fight-or-flight mode) over what I’ve viewed as my stagnation in life since 2017, being such a long period of time. I then have to remind myself that not only have there been plenty of pleasant moments over those years that I need to remember, I’ve also been gradually improving and learning in many regards; I’ve been taking care of my health, my speaking voice has dramatically changed as my confidence has boosted, and I’ve been simply learning what does and doesn’t work. Mistakes really usually are just learning opportunities.
2023 would later be a particularly transformative year for me, and as I’ve probably stated before, it…stands as the #1 weirdest year of my life. My move was delayed last-minute twice, I had to experience a massive and complex e-drama event regarding a beloved childhood website which (despite not directly involving me) would prove to be mentally painful for me to try to reach cognitive dissonance with, and I also found out about the deaths of two online acquaintances (both of which coincidentally happened the previous year, and I didn’t find out about until the next year). And 2024 probably won’t be much of a break in that regard.
Thankfully, finding my footing in 2024 is happening. I’ve had the gracious opportunity of being offered a job at Chick-fil-A, and I’ve found the position to be rewarding and mentally engaging since then. The atmosphere is welcoming and patient while still prioritizing hard work, everything is organized, and it’s fast-paced enough to give my mind something to really focus on.
With regard to my life outside the home, I’ve been finding solace in exploring and visiting what I can find outside the house — such as Cavalier’s Coffeehouse. Which leads me to my uncoincidental PSA to always support local businesses when you can.
In other positive news, I was recently graciously gifted a guitar by the love of my life, after more than a year of wanting to pick it up again. (Alas, I wasn’t able to bring up my previous one.)
Not exactly the most glamorous photo that I could have taken of it, but one has to adapt in a home that’s being reorganized, and the other photos in which I was holding the guitar didn’t exactly depict me as the most photogenic. But there it is; inexpensive yet sounds great! I have to say, I’ve been enjoying the challenge in picking up the basics once again.
Anyways…in getting ahead, I’ve been learning the importance of being organized.
And organization has never quite been my main strength. Even my fourth-grade teacher constructively critiqued my then-eleven-year-old self’s need to be more organized in a session where we all discussed our strengths and weaknesses. The need for organization is why when I started resolving that I wanted to change my life for the better, I gave my plan consisting of the set of life resolutions a name: Project Comeback before I typed up the document in a hurry and slipped it at a former professor’s door to casually clue him in on my life plans. …I wasn’t exactly the most satisfied with my own name for it, but it mentally stuck to me, and he loved the name.
Basically, the Project Comeback letter briefly recapped my various projects in order to address what I wanted to improve about my own life, and to set out to accomplish more, and without spoiling too much:
- It detailed creative projects that have been on the back burner for years
- It described my desire to want to travel more
- It emphasized by desire for social connections
- It described my plans for this very website, including getting it, um, finished and producing business cards to lead people to it
- And last but decidedly not least, it talked about my aforementioned plans to go places with guitar, preferably collaborating with other musicians/content producers. You’re probably tired of seeing the word “it” now.
Perhaps the cruel irony, however, of making plans for the future is that I tend to heavily base them upon the past. Not that nostalgia isn’t a powerful tool, mind you, but I’ve tended to rely on nostalgia to a fault. It’s just me trying to cherish my positive memories; such as my time at the Stetson coffeeshop, which helped me reconnect with my alma mater, much to my own personal satisfaction.
And as much as I am thriving up here, nostalgia does make me hold a place in DeLand within my heart. It’s not as easy said than done going back and forth between two cities six hours away, but I did it once in July to watch over my pets, and perhaps there are future opportunities down the road to make those connections which I’ve yearned for. A lot of memories are in that childhood home; our pets, my then-long-distance calls, the aforementioned coffeeshop job, and obsessively rewatching Amadeus as a self-care movie during a mentally rough time. …I digress.
Ultimately, I know that worthwhile opportunities are ahead of me if I just be patient…and perseverance.
Also, cats:
